Diary of a Sheffield Ministry Equality activist: 1

Fri 27 Jan
Went to the Holocaust Memorial Day exhibition in the Winter Gardens, thought of the Jewish Shoah plus the killing of so so many others on grounds of discrimination.  Thought of my own Jewish-Atheist-Australian ancestry. Came back and read news of the Bishops’ report on sexuality, decided it was too painful to read.

Sat 28 Jan
Wrote to a couple of clergy colleagues and friends to express no-words sorrow about the report.

Sun 29 Jan
Upset at church.

Mon 30 Jan
News of an emergency hospital admission for a very close relative; hoping NHS less dinosaur like than CofE (maybe that's unfair on dinosaurs).

Tue 31 Jan
Go to chaplaincy to cancel work so I can go for a hospital visit to v. close relative—bit shocked. Hear nomination announcement—bit bewildered. Hospital completely log-jammed, the porter had been called in on 3 out of his 8 days holiday. Feeling a log-jam in the CofE. Constipating.

Thu 2 Feb
After shocking 2 days—with cancer in the family and NHS staff under pressure and LGBTQUIAAP church people feeling it—start to tentatively contact clergy and lay-reader colleagues in Diocese. Taken aback by the level of shock and distress and anger. Not much headspace to even think what I think, just praying for discernment and holding out for a day's space at Mirfield and spiritual direction.

Fri 3 Feb
Have spoken to enough people that I get the sense there’s a pastoral distress of significant proportions, not feeling responsible, but feeling alert and hopeful and praying. At uni, there’s incredulity. I’m used to representing the church in an institution. This, now, reminds me of the reaction at York St John in 2006 to the news ++Sentamu would be the first Chancellor, just the day after he’d been reiterating the Bishops’ teaching on issues in human sexuality on Radio 4. I’m glad to represent the church in the workplace at such times, since I get to speak of the pain and the hope of being church.

Sat 4 Feb
Attempt to make an imaginative leap; I pray to see how a translation from Burnley to Sheffield for +Philip is a possible leap—but I’m not there. Holding out for my Mirfield trip to find some direction. Re-read non-violent communication inventory of needs—the list of the sort of basic needs we all want to have met—left feeling in the current situation too few needs are well met, leading to troubling feelings. Try to seek some letting-go.

Phone the Archdeacon, as I head to the ice rink; he can see that Mutual Flourishing makes this situation easy to imagine. My very slow logic can see that MF makes it easier to imagine, in principle, but I remain puzzled about the working out of that in practice. I picture the situation landing on top of Goole, Donny, Rotherham, Sheffield, and on top of +Philip too—like some comic-book vast craft arriving from space. I explain to my Archdeacon that the space for protest or dissent is an important one, but that we have been asked to remain quiet and prayerful. This is difficult and needs further discernment.

I write a blog offering an apology about the Bishops' sexuality report!

I speak with colleagues, lay and ordained who also discern that the level of pastoral distress is quite high. What we don't know is how many in how many places. We agree to write a joint letter of concern to our acting diocesan bishop, also asking him to listen to the many voices expressing distress, anxiety and anger.

Sun 5 Feb
Worship at church with my family. I’m one of two bass players, accidentally—tricky to create a mutual flourishing sound, so I get out my bow and pretend to be a cello. The bass muddle mirroring the bigger picture. The nomination announcement is given out in notices by associate vicar. I get a tiny nomination too (!) as one of the people to talk to others about this after the service. I’m taken aback by quite how livid and distressed people are. I carry on seeking to represent the way the church works, to this community I’m part of and love. The more I answer the questions—while aiming for peacefulness and attempting understanding—the more clearly people seem in a fury to me. Too many feelings. Holding out for Mirfield.

Mon 6 Feb
Feeling anxious about everyone due to meet with +Philip tomorrow, feeling anxious for +Philip. Most of this is picked up from the anxiety all around. Funny, feeling marginalized and excluded from the meeting by fact of being male—living the feeling—perhaps it’s beneficial now again to feel marginalized. Flourishing and marginalisation; easy to interpret this situation with each term. Oddly simply to switch terms about the same details of this situation. I get completely confused about who are the included or excluded, in the church, beyond the church. Wonder what ground I’m standing on, wonder about the news from the hospital. Desperate to get away; Mirfield tomorrow.

Tue 7 Feb
I have to take all of me with me to see my spiritual director at the Community of the Resurrection, Mirfield and to the worship and the silence and the space. A beautiful moment as I travel, reading the tweets of another's journey; a vicar being spotted in a car singing "Heavy Dirty Soul"—odd being a priest. Watch Hilary Clinton speaking about 'the future is female'. I send a message to my very close relative who’s under the knife to say “going off to pray and write protest poetry”; somehow this makes her day and helps me write.

Other visitors at CR include a brother from Alnmouth—where I took a group of international students in November —and a priest from Burnley archdeaconery who speaks of the transformation +Philip has brought there; §those who were wary to begin with, completely changed. I wish and pray that could translate, in this nomination, for +Philip's translation from Burnley to Sheffield. I still find it's too hard a leap for me, though, if those far less advantaged than me cannot leap too. I wonder who I’m angry with, decide it’s with me, nobody else—so I finish the poem and call it 'Church's Future's Female'. Catharsis.

Church's future's female

For males including me

Favoured by structures at C of E

Listen to Clinton who oughtabe in DC

"Future's female": Church ain't where it needs 2b.

That's just me startin' on CofE equality

Coz it's also about  B, A, 'n' M,  and every single E,

And L and G and B and T,

and Q an' U an' I 'n' A 'n' A an' P.


Not enough spaces at the table ya see

and no way to be seated comfortably

coz males 'n' tradition's made W an' A 'n' S n' P

a permanent booking priority
.

Am I angry at a you no with me

I'm finding my place has complicity

quarter Baghdadi Jewish lends some diversity

Can I find integrity
?

Had grandpa Sollie gone to Europe not Sydney,

Jewish Shoah would've meant there'd be no me;

"who'll they'll come for";

ain't just a theory.


I want to ask the powers that be

how long the wait for greater liberty

hey, beware the clock reversing key

can ya see can ya see can ya see
?

Sisters children kinfolk of church and church-to-be

resist all calls for conformity

that'd rip blossom from freedom's tree
of potentiality.


By way of apology for the Church of England: sexuality report

I want to apologise as much as is possible for the Church of England in the wake of Friday's report on the Church and shared conversations on sexuality and gender (that I find too unbearable to read in full).

I represent the church in a very small and insignificant number of ways (mainly as a chaplain), so I think I can apologise without it being entirely meaningless, though possibly almost without meaning—I don't know—but for what is worth, I am saddened and sorry and want to say, sorry.

I am also sorry that however minor a place I have in the church, I am now continuing to be in elevated position, for the foreseeable future, in the eyes of last week's CofE report on sexuality (and thus the CofE where I serve). This is because I am cis-gender and not L or G or B or T or Q or U or I or A or A or P or gender-fluid, or non-binary or however else, people want to be free to self-define.

I am sorry and deeply mortified and I am sorry, for all who personally are now experiencing pain and suffering, both for themselves and their friends.

I am also wanting to apologise to many of my friends and colleagues and acquaintances and the people I serve. I'm seeking to find out what else I can do from my position of advantage, that I desperately hoped would no longer exist.

I've been asked if it is meaningless and hypocritical of me to apologise while I continue to serve in the Church of England, be salaried / stipended and housed as part of my role.

I think the contradictions I embody could be judged that way. What I'd also say is that I have determined to use my position of compromised privilege to serve the mission of the church on the topics of social inclusion, education, equality, liberation and justice: for students and staff at the university where I'm licensed to serve and in the wider community. That includes working with the vulnerable in the ageing population, for children and supporting children's spiritual development. I am seeking and campaigning for liturgical reform, which is central to the theology and underpinning values of the church.

Is that effort in some ways cancelled out by dissonances embodied in public servants of the church, like me: yes, to some extent, I'm sure. I can see that the church has diminished people and so we are all diminished. How I can tolerate the role tension, is probably driven by those who have endured much greater role tensions than I to serve in much more significant ways at a much greater personal cost. I cannot imagine getting anywhere near that level of risk-taking determination, but I hope to at least be under the gravitational influence of such servants of God who remain working for the church.

What Shall We Mix Truth With? (a sermon)

This is a written version of the sermon given by Jeremy Clines at St Mary's, Bramall Lane, Ecclesall Deanery, Diocese of Sheffield. It was on the day that we were celebrating the reunion of one of parish, Odette Sefuko, who has been with us for many years, with her children who have finally been allowed to enter the UK after an eleven year separation.

What Shall We Mix Truth With?

Matthew 4:12-23

What's Venus?
I was travelling home from a joyous Messy Church on Friday with my children and had a dilemma, bus or taxi? It was late, but the journey was already being made by the bus and it would save cash. I felt torn but opted for taxi, the children are still quite young. I'm so glad I did. As we drove along we began looking at Venus, my five-year old son said "it's that bright because the clouds in its atmosphere reflect the sunlight, don't they, Daddy?".
The taxi driver said, "Venus, what's Venus?".
It turned out the taxi driver thought that planets didn't exist and were a "conspiracy made up by governments" and he certainly "didn't trust governments".
He also thought that, "we are taught a lot of things in schools that aren't true".
He also felt it would be impossible to know if Mars was a planet and was red, "unless I go there myself and see it with my own eyes" because for him "truth was something you need to be sure about".

Seeking, mistrusting, desiring truth
I felt respect, admiration and shock at the views of our driver. My children were quite startled too. But I was wondering how many of us here are seeking after truth and don't trust governments? I was also wondering if we all believe everything we're taught or have a genuine mistrust of some of what we've been told? I also wonder how many of us have a desire for evidence and that without evidence we doubt some of the 'truth' that's being sold to us these days? I put my hand up, I am more like the taxi driver who took us home on Friday night, than I first imagined.

What shall we mix truth with: with fear and hate?
That's what really concerns many of us at this moment in world events, truth and where truth resides and how truth gets used. You see truth gets mixed with other stuff, it doesn't sit alone in life. So what are we going to mix truth with today? Are we going to mix it with hate, drop it in our cocktail shaker and see what comes out. Would we do that? Truth and hate together? Do you know I have heard that there have been some attempts in recent times to mix those two together: would anyone really want to do that? Would we want to do that?

What else could we mix truth with? Shall we mix it with fear as well: it seems truth, hate and fear are being mixed together right now on the world stage and we must pray, "heaven preserve us" and not join in? God forbid we ever join in with that cocktail recipe. Because the kind of thing that comes up in that cocktail, is so dangerous, we wouldn't want it.

Truth, text and reconciliation
What about truth and text, if we mix those two together, we could end up with a long list of rules that will not shift because it's all governed by small print that isn't the kind of truth that sets us free.

So what recipe might we want to mix up? How about truth and reconciliation. You know if we shake that up together, you can hear the son of Ian Paisley praising the work of Martin McGuiness at Stormont. Can you believe that? It does happen, it did; it depends what we'll mix truth with. Truth and reconciliation, can we try that?

Truthful discipleship
As Christians I believe we are called to mix truth with a number of things and among them, right now I think it's important to remember to mix truth with hope. Today in our gospel reading we hear of Jesus calling disciples, who responded to that calling in hope.

Mixing truth and hope together expands our vision of what is possible—and how much do we need that right now, oh how much!

Discipleship for the many not the few
Truthful hopeful discipleship is for the many, not the few. I remember as a very young adult attending communion on chaplaincy visits from my college to Wandsworth prison and witnessing the discipleship of prisoners. I suddenly found my limited version of discipleship expanded. Not discipleship made in my own image. My version of what was needed didn't conform to what I was beginning to experience. My version of discipleship had got muddled up with truth: going to prison unmixed it big time!

Non-conformist discipleship that transcends
I also do want to say something about the calling of some of disciples from today's reading: here we hear of four males called; I must stress though that Jesus appears to go beyond gender politics and the gender categories of the day, Jesus wasn't interesting in conforming to the standards of the time. He also seems to both challenge and rebalance aspects of the way people are treated because of their gender. In fact, in a broad-brush way, some of the most meaningful dialogues between Jesus and disciples are when he is speaking with women and those regarded as unclean. The males seem far more prone to getting told off by him. Just think of that conversation between him and the Syro-Phonenician woman, or that amazing interchange with the woman at the well in John 4 or, the o, most powerful of exchanges at the tomb of Lazarus with Martha's sister Mary; wow, it doesn't get more profound than that. We must also recall the first witnesses of the resurrection were women too: wherever there was imbalance, Jesus appears not only seek to rebalance but also go way beyond the gender politics of the time and shake things up with hope and truth for everyone.

The shoulds, oughts and don'ts of discipleship
What might our discipleship need to look like, that requires adjustment? I sense discipleship can all too often be driven by shoulds and oughts—it has in my life and now I'm wanting to resist that compulsion. There are some don'ts for our discipleship, but they are simple and brief. Don't be afraid, don't worry, don't be upset, don't be conformed. It's as simple and as complex as that! That's where being hopeful, is what helps us get—with truth—where we really want and need to be.

CBT and western anxieties
As people living in the West though, we do need CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy to get us out of the ruts of stress and anxiety: our Western lives are so overlaid with too vast array of choices and addictions that it's no wonder we are incredibly worried and over-wrought. One of the hugest addictions of all is to oil, the burning of which is heating up our atmosphere in a way that we could control but haven't yet: It's making us ill and our planet ill too for now and for those who come after us. That's why we need some brain (cognitive), habit (behavioural), liberty (therapy), as soon as possible!  I think most of us need that kind of CBT and plenty of us need some ordinary everyday CBT to help us overcome our contemporary stress, I'd recommend considering it!

What can truth and hope make room for
When we mix truth and hope together, it makes room for all of us to follow. It means that we can esteem and appreciate and applaud each other's attempts at discipleship. If we take time to applaud the ordinary contributions each of us bring to the church—the things we can do, not the things we think we or someone else ought or should do—across the traditions and denominations; if we purpose ourselves to encourage the gifts or charisms of each and everyone, then more people will be encouraged. If more people are encouraged, more will follow, it makes more room and people we will want to join in.

Peace will come
Let's take hope and mix it with truth for our discipleship, because then, encouraged together, we'll have an expanded vision of what is possible and what life together can be in that includes all of us. Then we will be able to look—not with certainty—but a growing confidence that peace will come at last and families will be reunited.
Amen.

Letter in the Church Times: Readability of the Common Worship Collects and Post Communions

Today I have a letter published in the Church Times (see below). That's because, in my other blog, I've been exploring questions of readability of Collects and Post Communions among many other topics related to accessibility.

An article (behind a paywall) by Geoff Bayliss on 23rd December in the Church Times focussed on readability of Common Worship texts. He has been working with readability tools, similar to the Gunning Fog index I use as a guide in my re-writes. In his article he says;

If the intention of the 2004 set of collects was to make such prayers more accessible, and to pitch them in the language of those outside the Church, we discover a journey yet uncompleted. A further set of col­­lects is required, aimed at those who have limited vocabulary and ex­­perience of the Church, or who have English as a second language. [...]
If we turn to more recently pro­duced liturgy, there are two euchar­istic prayers (Common Worship: Additional Eucharistic Prayers: With guidance on cele­brating the eucharist with children, CHP, 2012, available at www.churchofengland.org) [...] It becomes clear that we can be successful producers of liturgy that is more accessible. (Church Times 23/30 Dec 2016)

I have written a reply about this topic area that is published in today's Church Times (Friday 6th January 2017). Here is my text that was put under a Church Times heading of "Accessibility of the Language of Liturgical Worship" :


Dear Editor [converted to "Sirs—," in the CT]

I am pleased Geoff Bayliss’s article "Speaking the Language of the People" (23 / 30 December) has sparked much debate—on social media at least—about the readability of part of the liturgy. Common Worship’s 250 or so Collects and Post Communions have a peculiar place. That’s because, typically, they only get wheeled out once per annum or less.  Almost every Collect has an alternate and the Post Communions are only optional. They also seek to sum up the theology of the Church for a particular moment in time, in one sentence!

I believe readability can be only one factor in making these prayers more accessible. In the last four years I have written and published (online) 200 suggested inclusive adaptations of the existing Collects and Post Communions from Common Worship. I have found in any adaptation of existing prayers that there are some gains and some losses in the following areas: the beauty of the language; conveying the Church’s theology; introducing contemporary themes including care for creation, urban and other liberation theologies; and achieving more frequent gender neutrality in our prayer.

What stands as an even more fundamental challenge for making Collects accessible is in asking who these prayers are for: many of the existing stock of prayers are for those who see themselves to already be part of God’s church and kingdom. The diverse self-understandings of those who come to our church services—seekers, the un-churched and those of different beliefs—means all too often the ‘us’ in these prayers contributes to the “othering” of too many attending worship.

Revd Dr Jeremy Clines
The Anglican Chaplaincy, University of Sheffield

Ra, Ra the Canaanites: a sermon about genocide

This sermon Genocide: Ra, Ra the Canaanites  from 5 years back follows up on some of themes addressed in the Atheism and Christianity: travelling companions sermon from 12 years ago.

Atheism and Christianity: travelling companions

I found this sermon given twelve years back, and wanted to make a link to it here. Given in the context of being the only person from the clergy that the atheist Lord Mayor of York could imagine wanting as a chaplain, that was a privilege, expounded here:
Atheism and Christianity: travelling companions